


Ravage Gets Catfished

by moosetashioedmonocle



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Cyberverse
Genre: Crack, M/M, Post-Canon, Soundfamily is a family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25661110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moosetashioedmonocle/pseuds/moosetashioedmonocle
Summary: Ravage goes on a date.
Relationships: ravage/cheetor
Comments: 24
Kudos: 102





	1. First Date

It wasn’t like Ravage didn’t know who he was. Megatron had told Soundwave about the guardian of the Allspark, and Soundwave had told him, and now the war was over and the more competent (not that Ravage would ever say that) Megatron from another dimension had been dealt with, and everyone could mill about, so it wasn’t like Ravage was opposed to seeing an Autobot.

What Soundwave had failed to mention was that the apparent guardian of the Allspark happened to be a very handsome cheetah.

Their first encounter was nothing special. Ravage was on his way to something, Cheetor on his way to something else, they bumped into each other on the street, and Cheetor said a cheery “Hello!” as he passed which threw Ravage so far off his rhythm that he tripped over his own feet. Then once again, while he was racing with Bumblebee and Rodimus Prime, only this time the bumping into was literal, and Cheetor spent entirely too long apologizing. It was cute. He was cute.

Ravage didn’t expect him to respond to an invitation to go out and spend time getting to know each other, but apparently Cheetor was just as interested in him as he was in Cheetor, because he received an enthusiastic “yes!” to his offer of a date.

Adorable.

Ravage kept it simple. Frenzy had suggested that he hit up Maccadams, but he didn’t want what was supposed to be a romantic thing tainted by mechs getting excited about the revival of the sport of cube. Lazerbeak suggested a walk along what used to be the border wall between factions, and Ravage liked that idea, but didn’t like the idea of reminding Cheetor that they had once been enemies. In the end, he edited it to a nature walk through the nearby “woods” (even Decepticons were using Earth words now, ugh).

It was actually…really fun. Ravage had spent so long hating his cat form and trying to act like a person that he forgot how fun it was to just act a cat. Cheetor had no problem playing into his wild side, leaping between trees and trying to play-wrestle with him, hunting a bird and joking he’d caught Ravage another sibling, even loafing down on the ground with a contented purr. Ravage felt himself opening up around him, having fun around him.

When he subconsciously head-butted Cheetor, the cat equivalent of a kiss, Ravage was at least mature enough to pop the question. “Wanna come back to my place?”

“Thought you were never going to ask.”

Ravage and Cheetor had tails intertwined when they walked through the door, Ravage giving him a sly lick right behind the ear that made Cheetor’s ear flick and a purr rumble through his throat. Ravage slipped by him, silently hopping up onto the berth, patting the space beside him with his tail.

“Oh, let me change into something more…comfortable.” Cheetor said, like it wasn’t the most cheesy thing you could say to someone, and before Ravage could ask for clarification, Cheetor had become a regular person.

Ravage had been such a fool. How had he not known that Cheetor wasn’t really a cheetah?? Why hadn’t he even thought once that it might have just been his alt?? Of course not everyone had a root mode as a beast and an alt as a fragging cassette tape!

“Ravage?”

“You’re…a person.”

“Yes? So are you?”

“No, I mean. You’re a proper mech. I’m just a beastformer.” Ravage sighed heavily, his little cat heart (if he had a heart and wasn’t a robot cat) breaking.

“Wait, Ravage, that doesn’t mean—”

“You should just go, Cheetor. I had a lovely evening with you, and I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

“Wait!”

But Ravage was already pushing him out the door, shutting it, and curling up on the floor in front of it to wallow in sorrow until the morning came.


	2. Booty Call

It was the definition of seedy. Only accessible through a dimly lit alleyway, in a bad neighborhood in the heart of what used to be insecticon territory, hell, it didn’t even have a sign or anything. Its what made Soundblaster’s little dive Ravage’s second favorite place to be. He enjoyed the solace of a place the rest of his little “family” wouldn’t venture into. Soundwave knew about it, of course, and he voiced his disapproval, but Ravage did what he wanted, and what he wanted was a stiff drink in a dirty bar where Swindle was doing his less-than-legal business out in the open.

“Whatever he’s having, give him another one, on me,” a voice interrupted his thoughts, and Ravage turned as a mech sat next to him. What had him sitting up straighter, however, was the look of him; he wasn’t a beastformer, but he had all the telltale signs—the claws, the legs, the tail, and even a wolf’s head instead of a typical one. He was a dark steel color, so matte it made him look almost blue in the dim yellow light. He smirked at Ravage as the bartender poured his drink, and Ravage was struck with such a familiarity that was blurred by four rounds of high grade.

“Don’t I know you?” Ravage asked, trying to keep his tone cautiously flirtatious.

“Name’s Steeljaw.” Steeljaw took a swig of his own drink, purposefully posing for Ravage’s scanning optics.

“Blaster’s cassette?” Ravage could have sworn he had been much less…beefy the last time he saw him.

“Naw, the other one. The decepticon one. You’re one of Soundwave’s though, aren’t ya?”

“Ravage.” Ravage stopped to lap at his drink for a moment, noting how Steeljaw watched him with hungry eyes that looked much like his own. Ravage inwardly grinned. He was still disappointed with his failure with Cheetor, but this was another beast mech, he was absolutely getting some tonight.

“Tell me, Steeljaw,” Ravage purred lowly, leaning into the other mech’s space, “would you like to go somewhere a little more—” He had to pause for a moment due to another mech making a ruckus in the background, and with an irritated flick of his ear he spoke a little louder. “Personal?”

“Your place or mine?”

“Depends. How much do your neighbors like noise?”

“My neighbors know better than to complain.”

“Yours then,” Ravage purred, gesturing to the barkeep to close his tab. Steeljaw got up to pay his, and Ravage told him he’d meet him outside, practically sauntering out.

“How far of a walk is it?” Ravage asked when Steeljaw stepped outside, and Steeljaw laughed.

“I’m not making you walk anywhere,” Steeljaw chided, and before Ravage could clarify, Steeljaw was a car. For the second time that week, Ravage’s hopes crashed and burned.

“Oh.”

“I leave you that speechless? That’s too bad, I was hoping to hear you roar tonight. Hop in!” Steeljaw popped his door open, and Ravage, on autopilot, slipped inside.


	3. Intervention at Maccadam's

Ravage woke up to five new messages.

_Cheetor: Hey! It’s been three days, but I just wanted to say again that I’m willing to talk this over, and—_

Delete. He couldn’t bear talking to Cheetor now. Next.

_Rumble: Where tf u at_

_Frenzy: What bar are you passed out at boss is worried_

_Cheetor: Did I do something—_

Delete.

_Soundwave: Ravage. Where are you._

He replied back his location and got up to stretch, disappointed Steeljaw hadn’t left him as sore as he wanted. He barely had any scratches or anything. Those claws were only sharp enough to chip paint. Plus, all his bravado, and he was in recharge before Ravage was even warmed up. With a sigh, the feline served himself a cube of energon, ate it quickly and silently, and let himself out while Steeljaw kept snoring.

By midmorning he was at Soundwave’s, letting himself in and curling up under the radiator where it was the warmest. Soundwave, however, was standing in front of him.

“Steeljaw? Really?”

“Not Blaster’s Steeljaw, if it helps.” Ravage knew it would not. Soundwave stared at him for a moment, and Ravage knew that this was him wondering if it was worth it to try to ask if he was okay. Both of them knew Ravage would not answer that question, though, so Soundwave didn’t ask it.

“Soundfamily: going to Macadams tonight.”

“I’ll pass.”

“It’s not a request.” Soundwave replied, walking off. Ravage knew better than to point out that technically the war was over and he didn’t have to listen to Soundwave’s orders anymore. Soundwave would always be his boss. Most of the time, he liked that. Instances like this, he did not.

He knew it was a trap, which is why he requested to at least be in Soundwave. _I just drank high grade last night, he insisted, I’m hungover. Let me at least try to stay sober this time._ Soundwave conceded, and Ravage did his best at trying to nap while he had to listen to Rumble and Frenzy talk about their new interests. His fellow cassettes baffled him at the best of times: Rumble had joined up with one of Blaster’s cassettes, Eject, and the two of them were trying to get an all-minibot team for cube going, and Frenzy was really, really, really into the new music scene and spent quite a bit of time talking earth rhythms with Jazz over at Auto Bop. Lazerbeak’s only interests were being a pest and being a pest who got in everyone’s business, so she was out, and the rest of the cassettes never get screen time anyway so who needs them to be mentioned.

When Rodimus walked in, Ravage knew for sure this had been a setup. While Soundwave and Rodimus were certainly much…closer than they were before, after the whole invasion thing, Soundwave continued to believe for some scrapping reason that the young prime wouldn’t like him in the same way he liked Rodimus, and Ravage was too old and too cynical for that young love nonsense. Soundwave wouldn’t have invited Rodimus on an actual, final date and then brought all of the cassettes along, no. Rodimus had brought someone with him. Ravage knew it.

He would’ve breathed a sigh of relief if he had lungs at seeing Bumblebee walk through the door, then immediately choked on it when Cheetor followed him.

_How Dare you,_ he messaged Soundwave.

_He’s been calling me nonstop for three days asking what he did or what he said to you that made you so upset. Just talk to him._

_I’m staying right—_

“Ravage, eject,” Soundwave said, and Ravage’s cassette mode betrayed him, flinging him out against his will. He transformed, landing on the seat across from Soundwave, pinned in by Rodimus just sitting down. Rumble and Frenzy giggled to each other. Ravage glared at Soundwave, who he could just tell was smiling under that mask. The fragger.

“Oh, h-hey, Ravage!” Cheetor waved when he saw him, and primus he was just. So cute still. Ravage hadn’t even noticed how his face still had the signature three-shaped upper lip, or that his ears were just a part of his base mode. Wait, no, they were even bigger on his base mode.

Ravage sighed, glared at Soundwave one last time, then hopped up on the table and then to the floor.

“Cheetor, we need to talk.”


	4. feewings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which feelings are finally discussed and the writer uses too many phrases from her warrior cat rp days

“Did I…do something?”

Ravage flicked his ears back in shame. He hadn’t meant to hurt Cheetor like this, hadn’t expected the younger mech to actually care so much about him after just one date.

Like he said, adorable.

“Cheetor…I hate to sound like a cliché, but no. It’s not you, it’s me.” Ravage sighed and sat down, curling his tail around his body. “I can’t be a good…what is the word you keep using for Bumblebee and Hot Rod? Paramour? Lover?”

“I just use boyfriend-“

“Ah, you’re also using the Earthen slang. Fine. I would make a terrible boyfriend, Cheetor. Despite how amicable I find your presence, I spend a good portion of my time alone-“

“How lucky for me, then, that I have two other boyfriends.” Cheetor responded with a level of cheekiness Ravage was not expecting, and it threw him off his self-pitying monologue.

“I…well, my acquaintances aren’t exactly autobot friendly-“

“I try to remain nonpartial these days. I only wore the autobrand temporarily.”

“I have a lot of siblings!” Ravage was embarrassed about how he practically squeaked it, but Cheetor just smiled a warm smile, and reached a hand to caress the side of Ravage’s little kitty face.

“You and I both know that I don’t care about that. What’s the real problem here, Ravage? I think we could work this out, why don’t you?”

Ravage tried to ignore the way he naturally leaned into the touch, and how he already felt like purring just from one single gesture. Primus, was he already this smitten with Cheetor? He flicked his tail, mulled it over for a moment, and looked down at his own paws, muttering.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you-“ Cheetor said, crouching down to hear him, but it wasn’t necessary, because Ravage pushed himself up onto all fours and raised his voice.

“I don’t have thumbs, okay? I don’t have thumbs! I can’t do half the slag anyone else can do, because I was built with paws for hands! And don’t get me started on my altmode! Who uses cassettes anymore? Nobody! Literally Soundwave and Blaster are the only two who do, because all other carrier models upgraded their cassettes to models that make sense! I’m a rectangle in one mode, and barely better than a wild beastformer in the other!” He snarled with a bit more hostility than he meant due to years of mockery and shame. He didn’t even notice Cheetor’s transformation sequence until the other feline was pressed against him, purring softly.

“I don’t care that you don’t have thumbs. And I think it’s nice that Soundwave has let you keep your original models after all this time. I think they look cool. Maybe you don’t, and I’m sorry for that. But at least give me the chance to try and convince you you’re worth romance?”

Ravage froze at the lick on his ear, and finally the tension in his spine released, and he pushed his head back against Cheetor’s, letting loose a deep, rumbling purr.  
“Fine. I’ll let you try to court me, I suppose. Let’s get back to the bar, I think we’ve been gone long enough.”

“Don’t worry, Ravage, I’ll be sure to open any cat food cans for you,” Cheetor joked as he transformed back, picking Ravage up (picking him up! How forward! If Ravage hadn’t been thrown off entirely by the terrible joke, he would’ve protested more.)

“Which one was it.”

“Hmm?”

“Which twin told you to say that.”

“It was Buzzsaw, actually.”

And with that, the two reentered the bar and took their rightful spots back at the table.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take this too seriously


End file.
